The College Years
by NotEvenTheTrees
Summary: Bella meets a bronze haired, green eyed "mystery guy" & starts to question her relationship with Jacob, who she's been dating in college. Will she find her mystery man? If she does, who will she choose? Kind & sturdy Jacob or passionate & genuine Edward?
1. Chapter 1: Time of My Life

**Ok, I did a little tweaking of this chapter. It was weak, I know. This was the first thing I'd written in ages... So, I'm giving it a semi re-do to smooth it out a little. :) 7-27-08**

Chapter One--Time of My Life

So I'll taste every moment  
And live it out loud  
I know this is the time,  
This is the time to be  
More than a name  
Or a face in the crowd  
I know this is the time  
This is the time of my life  
_David Cook--Time of My Life_

"Bella! Let's go!" Alice could hardly contain her enthusiasm. This was a daily occurrence. Today, however, was a million times worse. We were moving into our dorm today. "Look! Here we are." She threw her arms out in a sweeping motion meant to welcome us to our new home.

"Really, Alice, it's a cinder block box with a window that doesn't open." Her excitement was not rubbing off on me. I'd been dreading this day for months. Alice has been determined that we have every experience possible while we're at college. She doesn't want us to miss anything. I understand where she's coming from, but when you're as clumsy and shy as I am, branching out tends to be scarier than imaginable.

"Well, it doesn't give many decorating options, but I'm sure I can make it work. I'm so glad you agreed to get the coordinating comforter sets, Bella. That will make this so much easier."

We dropped our first load of hand held items in the floor and pondered how we wanted to arrange the two beds, dressers and desks. We really didn't have much more space than I would imagine a jail cell to have. This did not bother Alice. All she could see were the possibilities. Once Alice gets into "designer mode" nothing can stop her.

"Hey, ladies. Glad you finally made it." Well, except for one thing. Jasper, Alice's boyfriend since I've known her, was leaning on the door jam to our room. Alice gave a small squeal and ran to give him a hug.

"I've missed you," she cooed at him.

"Hello! Bella present!" I cringed. I had grown somewhat accustomed to them being "couple-ish" as I thought of it. Usually, they did a good job of not being to overly affectionate in public.

"It's only been a week," Jasper pointed out to her as he detangled himself from Alice's small arms. Jasper was required to arrive a week earlier than the rest of the incoming freshmen due to his ROTC scholarship. He had decided sometime our sophomore year in high school that he was going to join the Army after college. I thought this suited him perfectly; his decision making and thought processes were always so meticulous.

"It felt like forever," she pouted to him jokingly. She turned to me. "Let's go get the rest of our stuff. The faster we're moved in, the quicker we start the fun." She bounded out of the room. Jasper shrugged his shoulders and turned to follow her. I sighed and fell into the procession tripping over the raised door jam on the way out of the box that was to be our home for the next year.

* * *

That night the university hosted a welcome event. I would have been content hanging out in the room with a book, but Alice, going along with the "don't miss anything" theme she had adopted, drug me with her.

The event was held in the Student Union which was located in the heart of campus. Luckily our dorm was just a couple of blocks away. The university was huge compared to our tiny hometown of Forks, Washington.

Ah, Forks. I never would have thought I would miss it there. When my mother Renee remarried a much younger and somewhat professional baseball player, I sent myself to live with Charlie, my dad, who lives in Forks. I didn't want Renee to give up her recently discovered happiness with Phil, the new husband, just to keep me in Phoenix. I was lonely the instant I moved; the sun, which I had loved before, was almost now nonexistent, it rained constantly and I didn't know anyone.

My first day at Forks High wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Alice was in almost all of my classes and refused to let me sit alone and feel sorry for placing myself in exile. People were surprised, I think, that Alice and I became such good friends so fast. Our personalities are total opposites. Alice is loved by everyone; I felt like no one knew I was there. She moves with the natural grace of a ballerina, whereas I can't navigate my bedroom without falling down. Alice looks and dresses like she could be a model. I was lucky if I ended up in clothes other than jeans and a t-shirt.

Jasper and Alice have been Jasper and Alice for a long as I've known them. It was understood, but not really discussed, knowledge that they would go to college together and then get married. They balanced each other in a way I didn't know was possible. When Jasper was looking at schools that would accept his scholarship, his only requirement was that the school have a fashion design program for Alice. Oh, and a good athletic program. Jasper is pretty competitive.

I, on the other hand, didn't have a clue where I wanted to go or what I wanted to study. As a result, I applied to a scattering of schools all over the country. Nothing really appealed to me. I waited so long to make a decision, Charlie was afraid I would end up at the community college outside of Forks. Alice was constantly begging and pleading with me to go to school with her and Jasper. She would throw reasons at me like, "Now, Bella, you know I didn't have any siblings growing up. And, now that I've found my missing sister, I can't let you go!" I rolled my eyes each and every time she said this, but never told her I didn't agree with her. Before I knew it, we were receiving room assignments, meal plan applications, and class schedules.

When we entered the student union, I was overwhelmed. There were so many clubs and organizations recruiting new members. I saw Alice make a beeline for the Design Club table, Jasper following behind her, and figured I was on my own for a while.

I wandered the room for a while, just trying to take it all in and not trip and fall over something. It had been a while before I noticed a group that called themselves Sense and Sensibility. Curious, I approached the table.

"Hi! What's your favorite?" The girl behind the table asked me.

"Um, what?" I had no idea what she was talking about.

"Book. What's your favorite Jane Austen book?"

Oh, silly me. "Pride and Prejudice."

"Me too!" she exclaimed, rising from her chair. "I'm Jessica."

I hardly got my name out before she continued. "Where are you from? I grew up in the south and people make fun of me all the time for talking so fast, but I can't help it! It's just how I've always been. I couldn't wait to leave. My boyfriend is here too, he's a year older than I am, so I just followed him. Oh, here he comes!" A tall, blond boy with spiked hair was approaching her with a scowl on his face. He was a sharp contrast to her tiny frame and wildly curly hair. "What's wrong, Mike?"

"Eric's demanding a rematch of last year's chess finals." I didn't know what would count as a chess club scandal, but I chose this as my cue to leave.

"Nice to meet you, Jessica," I called as I walked away. She didn't look up from Mike's story.

I didn't stop again till I reached the far back of the room. There, I found something I might actually be interested in joining—the Safe the Wildlife club. Wildlife was plentiful at home. Forks was surrounded by forests.

The expression on my face must have said it all because the guy hanging at the table introduced himself.

"Hi, I'm Jacob." He was tall—well over six feet. I had to look up to make eye contact. His shiny, black hair was pulled back into a ponytail. He had to be part Native American. He wore a grin that stretched from ear to ear. It was impossible to contain my grin in response.

"Bella." I offered my hand.

"I've been watching you wander this room for almost an hour now and you haven't stopped but once. Not that I'm stalking you from over here or anything!" He flashed the grin again.

I laughed. "My roommate drug me with her and ditched me as soon as we got here. That's okay with me though. She would've made me join every club by now." I smiled back. He was one of those instantly like-able people.

"Well, to ask the question you'll be asked a million times this week, where are you from? What are you going to study?"

I offered the basics. His ears almost visiably shot up when he heard I lived in Washington

"Hum, I have family in Forks, ever heard of it?"

"That's where I live!"

"Really? No way! My uncle and cousins live on the reservation there. Small world."

Before we knew it, we were playing the who do you know game. Turns out we did know several of the same people; Forks isn't big enough for this not to be possible. Jacob had even met my dad once. Which really wasn't that surprising seeing as he's the police chief. When he asked how I liked Forks--I told him I thought it was too green—he let out a whoop of a laugh that caused people to turn and stare and make me blush.

"There's green squishy stuff all over everything. That's all I saw was green, green and more green! I miss blues and browns. Brown is warm compared to mushy green." I squinched my face up at the memory. He let out the loud laugh again.

We talked for several more minutes. Finally Alice and Jasper appeared at my side and were telling me it was time to go. I introduced them to Jacob and could see Alice's mind start working on matchmaker. I'd have to talk to her about that later. I said goodbye to Jacob and left with Alice and Jasper.

"Why didn't you give him your number?" Alice reprimanded as soon as we were out of Jacob's hearing.

"What? Oh. I didn't think about it. You know I'm too shy for all that anyway. If I see him again, I see him again." I shrugged to hopefully help drive my comments home.

"Bella, the campus is huge! Turn around and go give it to him right now!" She started to turn me back towards Jacob's table.

"Leave her be, Alice." Jasper always saves me in situations like these. I gave him a silent thank you with my eyes. This annoyed Alice to no end. She started off without us.

"Bella, if you do see him again, you should give him your number." I shot him a look of disbelief. "I'm just saying." He chuckled and went to catch up with Alice.


	2. Chapter 2: Kite

**All things Twilight belong to Stephenie Meyer. I am just borrowing her characters for a while.**

Chapter 2

Who's to say where the wind will take you?  
Who's to say what it is will break you?  
I don't know, which way the wind will blow  
U2--Kite

Welcome week flew by. It was much easier to settle into a routine that I had imagined. The days had formed a pattern—class, class, class, lunch, class and one more class, dinner with Alice, and usually Jasper, homework then bed. The first two months of school had come and gone in the blink of an eye.

I had even started to make some friends. I had several classes with an equally shy girl named Angela. It took us several classes of making eye contact before we finally spoke to one another, but it didn't take long for us to become good friends. She was also from a small town and was amazed at the pace of college life.

"We have so much freedom, you know?" I could tell Angela was thinking out loud.

"It is nice in a way not to worry about breaking curfew and Charlie wondering where I am. Forks is so small; there were only a handful of places to go and he knew where they all were." I was trying to help her get out what she was thinking about.

"I know the feeling. My parents were pretty strict, especially when it came to Ben. It was an adjustment knowing he wasn't getting kicked out at a certain time every night. I make him leave anyway!" She gushed and followed up with a giggle. "It's nice for him to have some new guy friends. I don't mind being a dutiful girlfriend, but once you've seen one kung fu movie, you've seen them all!" We were laughing as we entered the three hundred person bio lecture hall.

I stopped in my tracks when I heard a booming laugh coming from the back of the room. I knew who it belonged to instantly—it was Jacob. Angela claimed our seats and I found myself fighting through the throngs of students to make my way to where Jacob was sitting with several other people. He saw me coming and met me with his big huge grin.

"Hey, stranger! Where you been hiding?"

I blushed, just as I knew I would. I think an "um, around" was all I could mutter before the professor called for our attention. I flashed Jacob an "I'll see you later look" and went back to Angela. There was no way he'd been in this class the whole time without me knowing.

I started to get settled in for the lecture. I heard a rustling of papers and lots of groaning behind me. The professor stopped and stared at the commotion coming from the back of the room. When I looked up, the commotion was coming my way. It was Jacob, who had noisily packed up his stuff and was squeezing down the row of seats where Angela and I were sitting.

"Are you done, yet?" The professor shot Jacob a look that made me wish I could blend in with the seats.

He plopped down into the empty chair beside me. "Yeah, yeah." He grinned.

I was mortified. I don't think I could have gotten any redder. Angela didn't know what to think, either. But, unlike Alice, she wouldn't push for me to tell her. She would just accept it.

The professor started up his lecture and I started taking notes when a piece of paper slid onto my writing board.

_I've been hoping I'd run into you. Have you been in this class the whole time?_

_Yes,_ I wrote back. He wasn't getting off this easy after embarrassing me that bad in front of the whole class.

_I didn't know. If I would have, I'd of come to sit with you before now. Why were you hiding from me?_

What? Hiding? _I wasn't hiding from you. _

_Black, Jacob._

I was instantly confused. _Um?_

_Well, I tried to look you in the directory but I couldn't find you. Plus, I didn't know your last name. And I thought you might be looking for me too, but realized you didn't know my last name._

He was looking for me? _Swan, Isabella. _I scribbled on the page and passed it back to him.

_Oh, well that would have made a difference. I was just looking for random Bellas. There wasn't just one or I would have found you. What are you doing tonight?_

I squirmed. I never got attention from boys at home. Not even in Arizona. Trying to buy time, I pretended to focus on the lecture. Jacob elbowed by arm and made me draw a black line down my page. I turned to glare at him, but he was flashing that grin.

_I have a math study session._ So lame, but so true.

_Yeah, don't buy that. Midterms are still weeks away…_He drew a little frowny face with eyebrows at the end. I had to try to hold in my laugh.

_You don't know me and math. _I rolled my eyes as he read it.

_Fine. This weekend then?_ He was persistent!

I hesitated, then wrote, _I'm going to the football game with Alice, Jasper, Angela and Ben._

He flashed the grin again, as if he had just had the best idea of his life. _Easy solution… I'll be your date and then it will all be even._

I didn't know how to respond to that. I sat there, blushing, with Jacob laughing at my obvious discomfort. Surprisingly, the more I thought about it, the more I realized I wanted to spend time with Jacob. His easy going presence and up front attitude made it hard for me to ignore him. I gave up trying. I sighed and gave a little nod in his direction. His face was jubilant. And just like that I had a date with Jacob Black.


	3. Chapter 3: Breathe In, Breathe Out

**All things Twilight are, of course, the belongings of Stephenie Meyer. I just borrow them from time to time. **

**Thanks to those who have left me feedback! I really appreciate it. Again, anything you want to share would be great! :) I had a hard time making this flow right. I hope it came out okay. I didn't really know how to end this chapter either, so if it just ends, sorry!**

**I posted this originally as chapter 4. After some reviewing from friends, I decided to move it to chapter 3. The reasoning, and I quote, "The story starts in Bella's perspective and it makes sense to know Edward after she sees him for the first time." I must say I think I agree. I had a hard time writing this chapter originally... I tried to write it before I wrote the original ch. 3 I've Just Seen a Face, but it didn't want to come out then. I guess it wasn't done cooking. :)**

Chapter 3—Breathe In, Breathe Out

We push and pull  
And I fall down sometimes  
I'm not letting go  
You hold the other line  
Cause there is a light in your eyes  
In your eyes  
_Mat Kearney, "Breathe In, Breathe Out"_

Bella's POV

I had never really understood football. I knew you wanted to keep the ball and get it down the field across the lines at the end, but I didn't understand why people would want to just beat each other up for a pigskin ball. I wasn't really paying attention to the game much. I was just enjoying hanging out with Alice and Jasper, and, of course, Jacob.

The day with Jake had been wonderful. We met some of his friends and cooked burgers before the game. Jake kept me far away from the grill; afraid I would trip and knock it over. There were only a couple of other girls in their group. I recognized a couple of the guys from biology—Sam, Embry and Quill. Emily, Sam's girlfriend, did a lot to make me feel welcome among the mostly rowdy boys. The other girl, Leah, was much more hostile. She started shooting me daggers with her eyes as soon as we got there. Jacob saw this made me uncomfortable and did as much as he could to keep me away from her. I didn't understand how she could hate me so much when we hadn't even been introduced.

"She's had a thing for Jacob for years; since they were kids. He's never been interested, but she can't seem to understand that." Emily was gracious enough to fill me in. "Jake's been talking about you since he met you at the fair." I blushed, I could feel it. No wonder Jake wanted to keep me away from Leah. Wait, did Emily say Jacob had been talking about me?

Emily continued, "It got worse when he told us he was bringing you today. Leah wasn't too happy when she found out."

"Oh," was my genius response. I was flattered to know that Jake has been excited about our date all week. I had been excited, too. I couldn't believe how much I found I actually liked Jake—he was so genuine. I had a feeling I would be seeing a lot more of him, which I was very okay with.

We had made some space in the student section and were now standing on top of the bleachers there. Those bleachers should really be a lot sturdier than they are—every time anyone standing on them moves, the whole bench shakes and moves and basically sends me flying into the people sitting around me. I'm sure I was getting on their nerves. Alice and Jasper thought it was hilarious that I kept trying to fall over. Jacob was the only one who didn't seem to mind; he was taking the opportunity to get closer to me. Every time I would teeter on the stupid bleachers, he would grab me and steady me back out. Sometimes, he would even leave his arm around my waist or shoulders, whichever he could reach first before I fell. For some reason, I was okay with this. With anyone else, this gesture would have been way too forward and I would have pushed him off. With Jacob, it just seemed natural. He was keeping me steady, after all. That was better than falling on the floor.

Alice kept trying to get me to give her details of my day. Every time she would ask a question and I would go to answer, either I would fall again or Jacob would ask me something. Alice did a lot of eye rolling. I knew she was dying to know what I thought of Jake. Every time he would leave his arm around me, she shot me a look. I could see her excitement getting ready to spill over. She wouldn't make it much longer without some answers.

The crowd erupted; the opposing team and just dropped the ball—"A fumble, Bella," Jasper told me—and we got it back. "And that is a fumble recovery." Jasper pumped his fist in the air and yelled along with the crowd. Jasper thought he could teach me the all the finer points of the game. I acted like I was keeping up as he shouted them across Alice to me.

"To me, it just looks like one of them decided to fall and everyone thought, 'Fun! Let's make a pile!'" I always shared my snide remarks about the game with Alice. She wasn't too into sports either.

"Bella, that's what you look like everyday when you try and walk around! You would be the one to cause a huge pile like that! You'd fall and manage to trip everyone around you on the way down!" Alice was laughing crazily at the thought me trying to play. The picture wasn't far off from reality. And it was a pretty funny one; soon I was laughing just as hard.

I heard Jake before I saw him. He had gone to speak to a friend and had been gone for a few minutes. I turned to greet him, smile on my face, but just as I turned the bleacher wobbled and my feet got twisted. I was headed into the people in front of us. I knew he wouldn't be there to reach me in time. Miraculously, Jacob managed to get there in time to grab onto me and steady my fall. This caused Alice and me to laugh even harder. Jacob wrapped his arm around my shoulders to hold me in place on the bleacher (and next to him, I imagine). I let out a whole new wave of giggles and turned back to share the laugh with Alice when I saw him looking at me.

His green eyes were almost electric in their intensity. I could feel the heat rising into my face. Why was he looking at me like that? No one has ever looked at me like that before. Ever. Sure, I had had just gotten my feet tangled and almost fell face first into the stands, but he didn't see that, did he? No, the look on his face definitely wasn't one of amusement.

"Bella, see what I mean? You'd never make it ten yards!" Alice had tears squeezing their way out of the corners of her eyes. Thank goodness she was laughing so hard or she would have noticed the blush still fresh on my cheeks. He was the best looking guy I had ever seen.

I could feel him still looking at me. I tried to sneakily look back towards where he was sitting. Busted. He was still looking at me like in the same way, almost as if he could see straight to my soul. Like he'd known me my whole life—knew all my secrets and desires—everything. It was unnerving. He looked like he was about to take a step towards me when his big friend pulled him back around on the bench as we scored a touchdown.

"Bella, lets go to the bathroom while everyone is celebrating, come on." Alice grabbed my hand, shaking me out of my daze. She practically dragged me out of the seats and towards the stairs leading to the bathrooms.

"I couldn't wait any longer. I have to know—how's your date going? You and Jacob seem to be getting along great!" She stopped and looked at me. "Bella? What's wrong?"

"Oh, sorry, what did you say?" I was still thinking about the face that was now imprinted on my mind.

"I asked you about Jacob. How's it going?" She was still looking at me in a skeptical way. I tried to laugh it off. Last thing Alice needed to know was about what just happened. The questions would be never ending. And, I didn't know if I could explain it in a way that she would understand, especially when I didn't even understand.

"Alice! You are so _nosy_." I tried to brush her question off.

"Yeah, but you'll tell me. You always end up telling me, even if you don't want to."

"You're right. I had a fine time with Jake today. He sure does keep me on my feet." I laughed hoping she would leave it be. She didn't.

"Fine? That doesn't look 'fine.' You're letting him touch you. That's not 'fine.' That's great in my book. I think he's wonderful." Alice was planning double dates; I could see it on her face. I didn't have a good answer for her. All I could see was those piercing green eyes.

If she would have asked me five minutes ago I would have told her I was having one of the best times I've ever had. I would have told her about Leah and how she didn't like me. That I couldn't wait to see Jacob again, and again, and again. In short, I would have gushed. And, I don't gush.

But now all I could think about was the handsome, green eyed man that stood a few rows in front of me instead of the tall, sweet guy waiting to catch me when I fell.


	4. Chapter 4: I've Just Seen a Face

**All of these great characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. I'm just borrowing them for a while.**

**I'm getting hits on this, so I know someone is reading it. Please leave me some feedback so I'll know if this is even really worth continuing. Anything you have to share really is helpful! Thank you! **

**Ok, I've been doing some moving of chapters... this was originally chapter three. I moved it to chapter 4. Some seemed to think it made sense to hear from Bella first about meeting Edward then hear about it from Edward. I agreed, so they swaped.  
**

Ch. 4—I've Just Seen a Face

Had it been another day  
I might have looked the other way  
And I'd have never been aware.  
But as it is I'll dream of her  
Tonight  
Falling, yes I am falling,  
And she keeps calling  
Me back again.  
_The Beatles—I've Just Seen a Face_

Edward's POV

I was tired. I didn't get much sleep Friday night; Emmett and I played at a bar downtown. I had planned on sleeping in this morning before the football game. That, however, didn't happen thanks to Emmett. He came barreling into my bedroom this morning with his typical Saturday cry of "It's game day! It's game day!" I wasn't too receptive. I threw my pillow at him, which he caught and then hit me with several times.

"Up, Edward! It's game day. You know what that means—gotta get to the stadium. Cheer on the team! Get up!" He hit me one final time before he left me alone. I groaned inwardly and swung my feet to meet the floor. I was really looking forward to a couple of extra sleep hours.

I walked into the living room where Emmett and his girlfriend, Rosalie, were packing a cooler for the tailgate.

"Edward, man! The girls were all over you last night. I hope you got some of their numbers. That one chick, man, she was hot!" Emmett was always getting excited about the girls that come and watch us play.

"Ugh, Emmett, it's a good thing I know you love me." Rosalie wasn't too happy with Emmett checking out the ladies. She made it clear to him every time we play.

"Rose, you know you're the most beautiful woman alive." Emmett nuzzled Rosalie's neck. Rosalie could be a model and knows it. Their relationship was somewhat odd, but fitting, to me. Emmett was just like an oversized stuffed bear; he comes across as big, burly and intimidating. In reality, he was cuddly and soft. Rosalie needed constant assurance that Emmett only had eyes for her. I've asked him why she is this way and he thinks its because of a past boyfriend that wasn't very faithful.

Emmett turned back to me. "Really, Edward, that one girl, Tonya, she's not that bad. Rose knows her from some of her classes. She comes to all our shows. I know she's given you her number."

"Yeah, Emmett, she has, but I'm not looking for that right now. We have this conversation the morning after we play. Every time. Maybe you'll listen this time? You know I just want to play some good music and get through school." I meant every word of this. Every time Emmett and I played a gig downtown, I somehow managed to come home with at least seven different phone numbers in my pocket. Emmett says that girls can't resist a guy who plays the guitar.

I met Emmett our freshman year in a music education class. Emmett was taking it as an elective; it was a required course for me as a music performance major. After a few classes of watching him bang his fingers along to whatever piece we were listening to, I finally asked him if he played any instruments.

"Drums, man! Helps get out the pent up energy. Makes a lot of really nice racket." He grinned and kept beating his fingers on his notebook.

It wasn't long after that explanation that Emmett and I started playing together at his apartment. I would play my guitar mostly, but sometimes I would play the keyboards. I always sang. Emmett sounded like a crying cat when he tried. We eventually added a bassist and started playing at local restaurants, frat parties and bars. We were requested enough to keep us busy most weekends.

Eventually we made it to the stadium. It was packed, as always. We ate the subs that Rosalie packed at the apartment and headed into the game. We weren't playing one of our bigger competitors, but the game turned out to be surprisingly close. They scored, we answered back, they made a good run down the field, fumbled, we got the ball and were working toward a touchdown when I saw her.

I had turned to watch a replay on the big screen behind the stand we were sitting in. She was standing beside a short, slim girl with a pixie haircut. They were laughing and teasing one another about what, I don't know. The girl was shorter than her friend with brown, curly hair. I could tell, even from where I was sitting several rows in front of her, that her eyes were the deepest shade of brown I had ever seen. She was beautiful. But, unlike Rosalie, she didn't know it. You could tell by the way she pulled at the red polo she wore, almost like she would have been more comfortable in something else. She turned, maybe to say something to someone on the other side of her, and fell sideways like she was going to fall off of the bleacher she was standing on. Two arms shot out to catch her and she grabbed onto them protectively. She looked up gratefully, but still laughing, at the guy who saved her. He was tall and dark with long black hair. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders, as if to hold her onto the bench and to his side, and fell into the conversation she was having with her pixie haired friend before she tripped.

I had to know who she was. I just kept looking at her. There was something about her that I couldn't let go. She noticed me looking at her then; our eyes met and she blushed a deep red before looking away. I couldn't stop looking at her. There was just something about her I wanted to know. A few seconds later, I caught her glancing back towards me. Our eyes met again. I made a move toward her just as the crowd erupted.

Emmett's hand grabbed my shoulder, dragging me back towards the field. We had just scored a touchdown off of the fumble recovery. Emmett released me and I turned back around to look for the girl again, but she was gone.


	5. Chapter 5: Heaven Forbid

**Of course, all of the good stuff belongs to Stephenie Meyer. She is so generous to let us play with her characters!**

**I had a grand plan for what I wanted this to be, but I've strayed from it so much already that I've pretty much thrown it out of the window. I am now flying by the seat of my pants… and whatever is playing on my iTunes. Both of which are scary. Any ideas? Please share! **

**And, I have to thank my very wonderful friend Gaelyn for being my beta on this. She rocks!  
**

Chapter 5—Heaven Forbid

Heaven forbid you end up alone and don't know why  
Hold on tight wait for tomorrow, you'll be alright  
_The Fray—Heaven Forbid_

Edward's POV

"Edward, what are you doing? You keep looking over your shoulder like you're looking for someone," Rosalie said. I guess I wasn't being as inconspicuous as I thought.

"Nothing! I thought I saw someone and I guess I didn't."

I tried really hard not to keep looking for her throughout the rest of the game, but I found myself glancing behind me every few plays. The pixie haired girl was still standing there but her friend never came back.

We ended up winning the game. After the fumble recovery touchdown, we pulled away and the other team couldn't catch up. As soon as Emmett saw this was happening, he wanted to leave. Rosalie's feet were hurting from wearing heels and I couldn't think of a good reason to stay, so we left.

She was all I could think about on the way home. Luckily, Emmett was dissecting every play we saw of the game. All I had to do was give him a "yeah" when he looked in the rear view mirror at me.

I couldn't understand why I was so stuck on her. When we got home, I went straight to my room and picked up m guitar. I started plucking on the strings, not really making any music, just some thinking noise.

There was a soft knock on my door before it opened. It was Rosalie.

"If you want to tell me what happened tonight, you can. Normally you would have been jabbering away with Emmett about the game and you hardly said a word. Are you okay?"

I don't know what made me decide to tell her, but I did. Rosalie usually doesn't show any interest in anything but herself; the fact that she even noticed that something wasn't right was huge.

"Rose, I know this sounds crazy." I sighed letting out a breath I didn't even know I'd been holding. "Have you ever seen someone and just knew you knew them? Even though you've never seen them before? I mean, really knew them?" I was nervous and it was showing. Rosalie looked pointedly at my lap. I was wringing my hands without knowing it. I forced myself to stop.

Rosalie is good for one thing—the truth. She will tell you what she thinks.

"I know exactly what you mean." She let out a little laugh. "Do you remember when Emmett and I met?"

I nodded. "But you've never told me the whole story. I just know you met at a party."

"You're right about that much. But there was a lot more to it than that. You know my ex boyfriend, Royce?" I nodded again. "Okay, I was at a party with Royce right before we broke up. I didn't even want to go, but it was a big deal to him. I knew he was messing around with that girl who was in his history class, but I hadn't confronted him about it yet. I knew I shouldn't be with him anymore, but I guess I had some irrational fear that I would never meet anyone else.

"He paraded me around for a while when we first got there, but soon his buddies were calling him up to the bar and I was left alone. I didn't know a lot of people at this party, so I ended up on the front porch in a rocking chair, just sitting and thinking about how much Royce had changed since we started dating.

"I heard shouting coming from the inside of the house and got up to see what was going on, but before I could open the door, Royce was being thrown—literally thrown—out into the yard. A voice inside was yelling something about keeping his hands off of his friend's women.

"Royce saw me standing on the porch looking at him, got up and walked over to me. He started screaming in my face about how I was a worthless girlfriend because I hadn't jumped to his defense. I opened my mouth to respond, but before I could, he had slapped me. I was shocked. He had never hit me before.

"I must not have realized that other people could hear him yelling at me. Before Royce could bring his arm back up to slap me again, he was tackled and thrown into the yard, again. The guy that tackled him punched him in the face and walked away for a few yards before turning back. I hadn't moved from where I was standing on the porch. I was embarrassed that Royce had hit me and caused such a scene. It was Emmett who tackled him. He saw me standing there, frozen. Once he looked at me, I knew he wasn't as tough as he seemed; his eyes said it all. He was the one who threw him out the first time, too."

She paused, smiling at the memory that came next. "I knew the minute he looked at me that he would never hurt a woman like Royce had hurt me. And Royce hurt me on so many levels. I had to know this man. I guess the thought the same thing because he came up to me and grabbed me in this huge bear hug and told not to worry about anything; he would never let me go. Emmett swears he said he would get me home. I know what he said though and I knew it was truest thing that had ever been said to me in my life."

She looked at me. "Not a lot of people know that story. Emmett is the kindest, gentlest, most caring person I've ever met. And I knew after that night I could never be without him. It took me some time to really open up and trust him because of all of everything Royce put me through, but Emmett was really patient. I didn't think I was worth anything after Royce, but Emmett convinced me otherwise."

"Aw, babe, I didn't know you liked me that much!" Emmett had snuck into the room while Rosalie was telling her story. Neither one of us noticed. He came and sat with her on my bed, snuggling her into him. "And, I did tell you I'd get you home. But your version sounds good now, too."

"You know I love you, you big bear." She was back to normal old Rosalie now. "Now, what does that have to do with tonight?" I'd forgotten all about the girl while listening to Rose's story. No wonder she was a little over protective of Emmett. I couldn't believe Royce did that to Rosalie.

"Rose, I had no idea. I'm so sorry. I'm glad you found Emmett when you did, though."

"If I ever see that piece of shit, I will seriously hurt him for ever laying a finger on my woman." Emmett cracked his knuckles to prove his point.

Rose swatted him. "Don't worry about it, Edward. It happened, it's in the past, and I'm over it. Emmett might not be, though. I know I got the much better end of the deal." She grinned at Emmett mischievously. She turned back to me. "Now tell me about tonight."

"I don't even know how to describe what happened. I turned around to check the replay, and saw this girl. I mean, she was the most beautiful girl I have ever seen. She almost fell off the bench she was standing on, but she had this aura about her, like she just radiated goodness." I shook my head. "I don't know. I can't explain it. When she looked at me, I thought I'd been struck by lightning. It was instant. In that second, I felt like I'd known her for forever. Almost like she was a friend I hadn't seen in years. I don't know if she felt it too or not, but she did look at me again and the feeling was worse. I had to be near her. That's when we scored off the fumble. When I turned back around, she was gone."

Emmett's mouth was hanging open. Rosalie reached over and shut it for him, a small smile on her lips. Emmett finally found words. "Dude, you never talk about girls this way. What happened to you?"

"That's what I'm telling you, I don't know. It just happened." I suddenly frowned, remembering who caught her when she fell. "She was there with some tall guy."

"I can beat him up for you!" Got to love Emmett at times like these.

"Yeah, but you'd have to find her first, right, Edward?" Rosalie pointed out the obvious. "You are going to look for her, aren't you?"

"Where do I start? The school is huge. I don't know anything about her." I was overwhelmed at the thought of trying to single her out in a school as large as ours.

"You never know. Maybe she's been in a class with you and you haven't noticed her before this? Just start watching for her. You'll find her. If the connection was that strong for you, I'm sure she felt it, too." Rose said this with such conviction, I almost believed her. I really wanted to believe her.

"If she would have had a class with me, I would have known it. I couldn't _not_ notice her."

"Well, worrying over it tonight isn't going to do a thing." She stood up. "Come on, Emmett, let's leave Prince Charming alone so he can get his beauty rest." She pulled him up. "It's still early." She winked at him and sashayed out of the room. Emmett's eyes followed her out.

"Emmett, guy to guy, am I crazy for feeling this way?"

He had to pull his eyes away from the doorway to answer me. "Nah, I mean, I knew I would never be the same the night Rose and I met. Sometimes you just know these things." I opened my mouth to ask him how he knew, but he interrupted me. "Don't be holding me up. I have something to attend to and it has long legs and blonde hair." He practically ran out of my room after Rosalie.

I sat there, wondering if I would ever find someone who fit me as perfectly as Emmet and Rosalie fit each other. I picked back up my guitar and started putting together some chords hoping it would ease some of the tension in my body. It was going to be a long night.

**I know you see that little button that says "Submit Review" and I know you want to hit it. I've gotten over 170 hits on this and only four reviews. You have to think something when you read it. Please share it with me. Even if it's not nice. I won't get mad or disappointed, I promise! :)**


	6. Chapter 6: Hands Down

**All of this yummy goodness belongs to Stephenie Meyer. Sigh. We can only wish.**

**Gaelyn, my wonderful Mexican entrée BFF, beta'd this for me. She's busy and somehow manages to make time to read my stuff. **

**And, also a huuuge thanks to LupsandTnks for betaing this, too. Happy birthday again and good luck with the lotto! :)**

**Settle in, this is a loooooong one! :)**

Chapter 6—Hands Down

This night is wild,  
So calm and dull,  
These hearts they race,  
From self control.  
Dashboard Confessional—Hands Down

Bella's POV

"Bella!" Alice was getting impatient. "Let's go! We're going to be late!" She stood in the doorway, tapping her foot.

"I'm hurrying! If you would let me dress myself, I'd be done already." I put as much venom as possible into the words, as I pulled on the aquamarine glittery, strappy top Alice picked out for me from the local trendy, and expensive, boutique. Sometimes I could swear that Alice was only friends with me so she could play "Dress Up Bella" whenever she wanted.

I tripped over the rug Alice had put on the floor last week, falling and dropping everything I had just put into my purse. I swore under my breath. Winter break, which was only a few weeks away, couldn't come fast enough.

Alice sighed and walked over to me. "I'm sorry, Bella. I'm just nervous."

Alice nervous? Since when did Alice get nervous? "This party's got me all worked up. I'm so afraid that something's going to go wrong." She started gathering up the contents of my purse.

"Alice, you love parties. And you're a great planner. What could go wrong?" We stood up.

"I don't know! I've been having these dreams that the band doesn't show up, the food is awful and undercooked…" she trailed off. She was honestly worried.

"It will all be fine," I tried to reassure her with a hug. "Anyway, you look fabulous. Jasper's going to love your outfit. You've always been able to pick hot clothes!" I wasn't exaggerating. She had picked out a brightly colored silk top with geometrical shapes decorating it. She had paired it with calf length black leggings. Alice had somehow managed to make her petite frame look taller tonight. She was still freaking out. If compliments about clothes wouldn't fix her nerves, I didn't know what would.

She opened her mouth to say something back to me, but I cut her off. "And, no, no one's told him what you've got planned. It will be a surprise." I smiled at her, in a last ditch effort to pass her a little confidence. "But, you're right, we'd better go. Jake's got to be downstairs by now waiting for us."

The elevator ride downstairs was a long one. When you start on the eighteenth floor, and have to stop at every floor on the way down, it makes for quite a trip. Since Alice wasn't up for much talking, I found my mind wandering to the boy who was downstairs waiting for me.

After the football game, Jake's pursuit of me rose. At first I resisted for a couple of reasons. First, I was still unsure about starting a relationship with someone. Alice said it was because I'd never dated before.

"But tell me you've been kissed, Bella. The dating thing I can maybe understand." Alice was in disbelief. "Spin the bottle at a party? Seven minutes in heaven?"

I shook my head at her. "Yeah, Alice, like people still play those." I was trying to blow of my truth." Alice glared at me. I sighed. "No, Alice, sorry to let you down. I've never been kissed." It was true.

"Well, it only takes one good kiss for you to realize what you've been missing," she said knowingly. Those were her only words of advice on the subject.

Secondly, I was holding out hope, no matter how ridiculous, that I would see the mystery guy from the football game again. Our school is huge with almost 25,000 undergrads alone. How was I supposed to find him among all those people? I'd tried to be much more observant of those in my classes incase he was right in front of me the whole time and I had missed him. No luck.

His bronze, messy hair alone made him a standout. Several times I'd thought I'd seen him and had gone running up to someone with similar hair only to be let down. Then I would have to slow my heart down and try to get my cheeks to return to their normal, pale shade. No one had the same green eyes.

After a few weeks, I'd run out of reasons to give to Jake explaining why I wasn't as eager as he was to go out.

"You had fun at the game with me, didn't you?" He would ask, with worry in his eyes. "I didn't do anything to upset you, did I?"

He could tell he was wearing down my defenses in the end. When I finally agreed to go out with him on a more regular basis, his response was almost… smug.

"Now, that wasn't so hard was it? I knew you'd come around in the end." I couldn't be offended; he always flashed his big, bold grin or let out that booming laugh of his.

It's not that I didn't have a blast when I was with Jake, because I did. He always found a way to make me laugh, even if it was because of something stupid I did, like trip on a raised brick in the sidewalk. Or drop my entire tray of food in the dining hall spilling chili all over myself, because I got tangled by my own feet. Both of which had happened. I was too embarrassed to even see the humor till Jake's laughing filled my ears.

However, I didn't know if I agreed with Alice's dating advice about kissing.

Growing up, you have all these ideas of how your first kiss should be: walking along the beach, with the moon shining and the stars twinkling. Or after I'd gotten playfully tackled to the ground in a snowball fight, snow in my hair as well as falling from the sky.

One part was right. And that would be the falling. But in my case, it was me into water instead of snow onto the ground.

Jake had packed a picnic dinner for us to take to the local lake. It was a beautiful night. The sun was just starting to set, reflecting rippling reds and oranges all over the water. There was just enough chill in the air for me to know fall was definitely settling in.

I opened Jake's basket to find standard, white Styrofoam take out containers.

"What is this, Jake?" I opened the first container. "Sweet and sour chicken?" I looked at him, totally offended. "You invite me on this great picnic and have the audacity to serve Chineese take out? Are you kidding?"

Jacob squirmed. "Um, I'm not really the best cook," he offered in apology.

I burst into giggles. "Gotcha! Just kidding, I love Chineese." His face lit up again, glad to know he was off the hook.

The evening was going great til Jake wanted to walk out on the docks.

We were walking along the marina. There were several boats in their slips, but since the weather was turning cooler, most of the docks were empty. Jake and I were holding hands just meandering along, looking at some of the boats when he had the grand idea to pretend to throw me in the lake. He went to playfully shove me over the edge. Everything would have been fine if I didn't have the clumsiest feet known to man. My foot caught on one of the metal boat tie downs, I fell out of Jake's hands and right over the side of the marina. Into the freezing cold water.

It didn't take long for Jake to drag me out, sopping wet and spiting water. I was afraid Alice's outfit of designer jeans and pink cashmere sweater were ruined beyond repair. I'm sure I had mascara running down my face. And I know my hair was caked to my head.

Jake was laughing so hard he was doubled over.

"Really, it's not that funny," I sputtered at him, mad that I had let my clumsiness show so much. "I'd like to go home, please." I stalked off.

"Aw, Bella, you'll dry off!" He caught up with me at the car, still laughing. He found a raggedy old towel in his car and started to dry me off as best as he could. I was still cold and shivering. Jake wrapped me in his arms and rubbed them on my back trying to warm me up.

"No-no-not wo-work-k-king," I had tilted my face up to him as I rattled this out.

I didn't realize how close his face was to mine till I looked up. "Give me a chance, Bella, and it will." Jake's voice had grown husky.

Gently, he lowered his lips to meet mine. Our kiss started out very sweet, but quickly turned very… wet.

When I got home, Alice bombarded me.

"Bella! Your clothes! They're ruined!" She confirmed my fear. "What happened?" I filled her in about the lake, me, and our unfortunate meeting. Finally, I convinced her to let me take a shower to get the lake off of me. Once I was warm and dry, she pounced again.

"I know he kissed you! I can see it in your face!" I didn't want to tell her at first. But, I knew she wouldn't give up until she had every last detail.

"Alice, I didn't know kissing was so... I don't know. It just wasn't what I expected." I sighed. "Well, I don't think I was missing anything." I made a face.

"What? Tell me, Bella!"

"Alice, if you laugh, I will hurt you."

"Fine, just tell me!" She could sense this was going to be good at my expense.

"Well, it was… um… it was… wet." I hung my head.

She bust into laughter. "Bella! That's the best thing you've said in ages!"

I did nothing but glare at her. Rather meanly.

She stopped laughing. Her tone turned gentler. "It will get better, Bella. Don't worry about it." She patted me on the head and smiled.

I don't know if mine and Jake's kissing had really gotten better, but it had gotten more frequent from there.

With a cheery ding we reached the dorm lobby. And, just like I thought, Jake was standing in the lobby, pacing back and forth. He noticed our arrival as soon as we got off the elevator. He covered the distance between us in a couple of large strides, not taking his eyes off of me. He pulled me into an embrace.

"You look stunning," he whispered into my ear, bringing a blush to my cheeks. I never will get used to his compliments.

"Thanks. You don't look so bad yourself." He was wearing dark jeans and a hunter green button up. I smiled at him as he took my hand.

"Hey, Alice. Are you ready for Jasper's party?" He was trying to be polite. Like me, he figured she was beside herself with excitement.

"I think so," she squeaked. This was so not like her.

We loaded into Jake's small Volkswagen Rabbit and headed downtown.

Today was Jasper's birthday. Alice rented out his favorite place to hang out, booked a band, ordered food and was throwing a huge blowout. Her theory was that Jasper wouldn't be expecting any kind of large celebration on his nineteenth birthday because she'd thrown another huge bash when he turned eighteen the year before. I think he thought he was safe till he turned twenty-one. He would have been safe with anyone but Alice.

Jasper was arriving with his ROTC buddies under the pretenses that it was guy's night out. I'd been teasing him about it for a week. I kept telling him I knew he was happy to not have to hang out with Jake and I all the time. Jasper, always being the gentleman, swore he never minded and that he needed to make sure Jake was behaving himself around me. I just roll my eyes at this.

The club looked great. Alice and I had made a banner reading "Happy Birthday, Jasper!" and it was hanging over the bar. She had hung streamers and balloons all over everything. The food tables were set along the back wall. The chafing dishes were already set out along with plates, silverware and serving utensils. Once Alice saw all of this, I could see her visibly calm down.

"Jasper should be here in about thirty minutes. All that's missing is the band. Oh look! They're here!" She pointed towards the back exit of the club. A guy was pushing in equipment to set up. He was possibly the biggest person I'd ever seen. He was muscular and tall.

"Oh my gosh, he's huge! Look at him, Alice! I wouldn't want to meet him in a dark alley!" I laughed. The front door of the club opened and several people entered the room. "Alice, you go talk to the band. I'll go greet."

She walked off to talk to the equipment pusher. I took my place by the door to welcome the few people who just arrived.

"Thanks for coming! Jasper should be here in a little bit." I smiled as they made their way to the bar. People kept coming and coming.

"How many more could she have invited?" Jake hadn't left my side the whole time. He wrapped his arms around my waist for a quick embrace. Neither oneof us knew everyone Alice had invited, but the welcome was still the same.

"I don't know! The room's already packed." I leaned into his hug. He responded with a kiss on top of my head.

Alice came bounding up to me. "Bella! I'm so excited! Everything is going so great. I don't know why I was so worried." Her light laugher floated over the crowd. "I wonder when Jazz will get here?"

As if on cue, the door opened and Jasper's friend Nate came in the door. "He'll be here in just a minute. They are parking the car now!"

"Does he have any idea?" Alice was bouncing.

"Not a clue," Nate answered with a grin.

The door opened and all of Jasper's friends came streaming in. Jasper was last.

"Surprise!" The room erupted into shouting. Jasper froze, shocked, and Alice bounded towards him.

"Happy birthday, baby!" She gave him a kiss. "I knew you'd be surprised!"

The band launched into a cover of a popular 80's song. Half of the crowd swarmed Alice and Jasper; the other half headed to the dance floor.

I looked at Alice and Jasper, both of whom were practically bursting with love for each other, and wondered if I would ever find someone that made me that happy.

"Come on, Bella, let's dance." Jacob interrupted my thoughts.

"Jake! You know I'm an awful dancer!"

"Like I'd let you fall," he rolled his eyes and pulled me out onto the floor.

As much as I'm not a dancer, I sure had a great time trying. Jake never took his hands off me; there was literally no way I could have fallen, tripped or slipped. I was having a blast. The band was great. I couldn't really see them from where Jake and I were standing, but they were loud enough that you didn't have to see them. They played mostly covers but would occasionally throw in an original tune that actually wasn't bad.

Finally, Jake decided we could take a break. I suspected it was because the band decided to take a break. We wove our way in and out of the people still on the dance floor to get something to eat and drink. Jake's plate was overflowing.

"Jake, did you leave any food for the other people?" It was almost unbelievable how much he could eat... like he really was a bottomless pit.

"Ya I eff ome." He was too busy eating to answer me properly.

From where we were sitting, we could see the band was about to start playing again. The huge guy who was moving equipment earlier was the drummer. He looked like he could barely fit behind the drum set. There was another guy who was the bassist, I think. He had light brown hair that fell into his eyes. He looked like he was an overly serious type. The third member had his back to me, so I couldn't get a good look at him. He had reddish hair-- no, it was more of a bronze color, and it seemed to have a mind of its own. It was sticking out in every direction.

Could it be? My mind instantly drew up images of the mystery guy from the football game. My heart beat sped up. I could feel the color creeping into my cheeks

He turned around, still looking down at his guitar, tuning it. He looked up and out at the crowd with a bit of a glazed expression, almost as if he was thinking hard about something.

I gasped in surprise.

It _was_ him. The guy I'd seen at the game. With the eyes and face I'd been blocking from my mind for two months now. My heart was beating so fast I was almost lightheaded.

But, even though Jacob and I had been dating for a while, and I enjoyed his company, his face was not the one I saw when I shut my eyes at night and tried to sleep.

It was _his_.


	7. Chapter 7: Gotta Find You

**When I write, some of these "scenes" play in my head like a movie. And, more often that not, they come with a soundtrack. When this scene was writing itself, this was the only song that fit. ****Please don't laugh at the fact that I'm using this song. Chuckle, yes; laugh, no. I'm begging. Especially when you see that Edward, not the good ol' Jo Bros (who I don't even like), "wrote" this song. We all know that's not true, but for today and the sake of this story, it is. Okay. Read away. And I will get over my horrible embarrassment. :)**

**Gaelyn, once again, beta'd the living daylights out of this. She is super fantastic.  
****LupsandTnks also cast a watchful eye over this, too. She picks up things that I would never in a million years catch. Amazing.**

**And, finally, thanks to everyone who left me reviews! It totally made my morning when I got up and saw I had almost 30 emails about reviews and alerts. Ya'll are awesome. :)**

**PS—all this goodness is Stephenie Meyer's. Not mine. **

Chapter 7—Gotta Find You

I need to try to get to where you are  
Could it be you're not that far?  
_Jonas Brothers—Gotta Find You_

Edward's POV

­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­It couldn't be. Of all the places for her to be? This party? The one place I never thought to look—our shows.

Oh, it was. It was definitely her. She was sitting at a table with a plate of food she wasn't touching. I was disappointed to see that she was sitting with the long haired guy she was with at the game.

She was more gorgeous than I remembered. Her top was some weird shade of blue—or was it green?—and seemed to be somehow tied together with a few thin, silk strings. It looked incredible on her. That electric feeling was still there; was it possible it had gotten stronger?

Her expression changed three times before I could look away. At first she looked elated, like she couldn't believe her luck. It quickly turned to anger. I couldn't understand why. Finally, she looked hurt. She looked over at the guy sitting beside her stuffing his face. He was oblivious as to what was going on. She looked back at me. I'm sure I looked as surprised as I felt.

"Edward, are we gonna play?" Emmett's confused voice floated over his drums to me.

My trance was broken. "Um, yeah. Sorry." He could read that something was off in my face. He asked with his eyes what was wrong. "She's here!" I hissed at him. I didn't need to explain who "she" was.

"What? Where?" He made a move to stand up and look for her. I turned back to the crowd, angling my body slightly so I could face her directly, and started playing. I didn't care if it wasn't the song we were supposed to play next. I didn't care that neither Emmett nor Peter, our bassist, had parts to play in the song. She had to know. And, I was going to try and tell her. Emmett was the only one who knew the song because he heard me play it in the apartment. Over and over.

"Edward, what are you doing? I don't know this!" Peter sounded slightly panicked. I ignored him and kept playing.

Emmett heard Peter's remarks. "Dude, just follow his lead. Don't worry about it."

No matter how many times I had played the song—her song, really—over the past two months, nothing prepared me for this moment. I started to sing; all of the emotion I had been keeping inside poured into the song.

_Every time I think I'm closer to the heart  
__Of what it means to know just who I am  
__I think I've finally found a better place to start  
__But no one ever seems to understand_

She was still looking at me as if I were the only person in the room. God, her eyes! I could get lost in her eyes. She was listening. I was pleading with her to understand what I was saying. I hardly noticed when Emmett and Peter picked up the beat and started to play along.

_You're the voice I hear inside my head  
__The reason that I'm singing  
__I need to find you  
__I gotta find you _

Suddenly, her face lit up in comprehension. She blushed a the deepest shade of scarlet I'd ever seen and turned her face away to hide her embarrassment behind a wall of her brown hair. Slowly, she peeked around the wall she'd made at me. She gave me a little smile of understanding and acceptance. It better than anything I could have hoped for.

_You're the missing piece I need  
__The song inside of me  
__I need to find you  
__I gotta find you _

Her date's phone rang. She saw him answer it, but turned her focus back to me. He hung up quickly and said something to her. Distracted, she leaned into him to hear what he was saying, eyes still on me. He grabbed her shoulder and gave it a little shake to get her attention. She looked at him. He was pale and his hands were shaking. He said something to her causing her eyes to get huge and well with tears. She tried to cover her horrified expression with her hand.

_Been feeling lost  
__Can't find the words to say  
__Spendin' all my time stuck in yesterday  
__Where you are is where I wanna be  
__Oh next to you, and you next to me _

The date stood up. She went to follow, but he pushed her back into the seat. Mad, she shook him off, grabbed her purse, and started after him. At the door, she paused as if she were trying to make up her mind. She looked back at me, gave me an apologetic look and walked through the door just as I finished playing. I stood there in disbelief.

"I don't know if I can take another month of you acting like a lovesick fool, Edward. Go after her!" Emmett was right. I wasn't letting her go again.

I put my guitar down and started to hop off the stage when Emmett called after me. "Edward, her name is Bella."

"What?" I whipped around to face him.

"Her name is Bella."

I was confused. "How do you know that?"

"Really, does that matter right now? You'd better go or they'll be gone!"

I mumbled my thanks and jumped off the stage and ran after her.

As soon as I opened the door, I was assaulted with a blast of cold air. My first thought was that Bella didn't have a jacket.

There were people everywhere. It was still early and the bars hadn't started to close yet. I strained to see over the crowds to find Bella.

I don't know how Emmett figured out her name, but I needed to make sure I thanked him for it later.

There was a parking deck a couple of blocks away from the bar. I headed that direction in the assumption they had parked there. I still didn't see her. Finally, I saw the guy she was with break away from the crowded sidewalk and turn into an alleyway. He was holding Bella's hand, somewhat pulling him along behind her. She kept looking over her shoulder, back the way they had come. I could only hope she was looking back to where she left me.

"Bella!" I called her name in an effort to get her attention. She immediately turned towards me, finding my voice. A brief look of determination flashed across her tear stained face. She slowed down and pulled on the guy's arm. He stopped. She leaned into him and said something, pointing behind her. He threw his arms in the air and said something to Bella. God help him if he started yelling at her. I wouldn't be able to control myself. She just glared at him holding her ground against what ever he'd said to her, arms crossed. Finally, he nodded and walked down the alley. She turned toward where I was standing, in the middle of the sidewalk, blocking traffic. She took a breath deep enough for me to see and started towards me. I still hadn't moved. She never took her brown eyes off me.

It didn't take her long to reach were I was standing. She stopped in front of me leaving only a sliver of space between us. I wanted to touch her so bad I was in pain. Hesitantly, she placed her hands on the sides of my waist. I felt them as if they were all over my body. It sent a different type of pain throughout my system.

"Your song was beautiful. Thank you." She was speaking so softly I wouldn't have heard her had she been standing any further away from me. She offered me a timid smile. Her voice matched her perfectly.

I brushed a stray strand of hair off of her face, allowing my fingers to trace along her cheek. "You're welcome," I said, meaning it. My hand came to rest on the side of her neck. She leaned into it savoring the touch with her eyes closed.

I wanted to kiss her so badly I could hardly stand it. She was so warm, even though she had on that strappy shirt with no jacket. I'm sure my eyes were giving away my desire. I wouldn't be able to resist much longer.

Suddenly, Bella reached up and pulled me down to her, her hand behind my neck. My mouth was on hers before I had a chance to think. My arms instinctively wound behind her back, pulling her into me. I couldn't get her close enough. I kissed her hungrily. Hands tangled in my hair, she answered back. Her tongue made little flicks at my lower lip, and I allowed her in. My teeth caught her lower lip and I gently pulled it into my mouth; she arched herself into me and let out a small moan. I held her tighter. I never wanted this moment to end.

Before I was done, she pushed away and turned to walk away. I grabbed her wrist and pulled her back. I leaned down and kissed the side of her neck. She tilted her head to the other side and allowed me to leave a trail of kisses along her neck… her jaw… and finally, on her soft and somewhat swollen lips. This time, our kiss was so sweet and gentle my knees went weak. I could hardly stand. The hunger was gone, replaced with a sense of tenderness.

"Bella! We've got to go!" A booming voice called from behind us. She immediately froze.

"I've got to go," she said, loosening her hold on me.

"Stay, Bella, stay with me." I was pleading, but didn't care. I wasn't going to let her go, not now. Not after this. "Please."

She released me. "I can't, I'm sorry." Her voice was thick and, once again, her eyes were full of tears. "I've got to go." She kissed me one last time, a quick one, full of goodbye. She turned and fled.


	8. Chapter 8: Round Here

**These fine characters are not mine. If they were, I would be Stephenie Meyer and have a new book about them coming out August 2****nd****. But since I don't, I will be in line at midnight a few days from now along with all you other fine folks. **

**Big thanks to my wonderful betas: Gaelyn and LupsandTnks. **

**Ya'll need to go and read Lups's stories "What We Become" and "Who We Are." They are by far my two favorite stories I have read on this site, period. She's working on a new one "Back from the Past" and it's going to be rockin', too. Kind of like **_**Kate and Leopold**_** meets Twilight. Tell her what you think… she loves reviews! :)**

**Oh, and I do too. So, why don't you leave me some? It would make me very happy and I just might be inclined to write some more… You're going to want me to post again quickly after you read this, trust me. Heh heh.**

Chapter 8—Round Here

Step out the front door like a ghost into the fog  
Where no one notices the contrast of white on white  
And in between the moon and you the angels get a better view  
Of the crumbling difference between wrong and right  
_Counting Crows—Round Here_

Bella's POV

"Bella! We've got to go!" The sound of Jacob's angry and impatient voice broke the moment.

"I've got to go." What was I doing? Embry could be dying and here I am, kissing a boy whose name I didn't know with my boyfriend waiting for me around the corner.

"Stay, Bella, stay with me. Please." The look in his eyes was antagonizing. It made me hate myself for what I was about to do.

"I can't, I'm sorry." I was about to start crying again. I didn't know if it was because I was letting him go or because of what Jacob and I were on the way to face. "I've got to go." I kissed him a final time, hoping I convey my apology through my lips.

I turned started running back to where I'd left Jacob just moments before. I had to watch the ground so I wouldn't fall over my clumsy feet.

There were so many feelings coursing through my body, I didn't know which one to recognize first.

I had just acted completely out of character in a way I didn't think I ever could. What was I thinking? Jacob would be heartbroken if he knew. I have to tell him. No, I can't tell him.

What _would_ I tell him? That I just had the best kiss I'd ever experienced in my life with the singer of the bar band (who I'd also been dreaming about for months) in the middle of the sidewalk with people around and probably staring while he waited for me to go see his possibly dying best friend?

No, I can't tell him.

The tears were still streaming down my face when I got in the car with Jake. I was suddenly glad for the darkness. It was much easier to hide my face which was burning with shame and stubble-burn.

"Bella, I'm sure he'll be fine. Sam didn't know a lot when he called." I knew he was trying to convince himself of this more so than me. I sniffled in response and turned to face out the window. In a gesture of comfort, Jake reached his hand across the seat to hold mine. Needing it, I let him. I am so selfish. I cried harder.

"Are you okay, Bella?" He sounded worried. "I mean, you hardly know Embry…" He trailed off.

My tears stopped instantly. I whipped my head around to face him. "How dare you, Jacob Black? He is my friend, too. It doesn't matter that I haven't known him my whole life, I still care about him." I pulled my hand away and turned back to ponder the blackness moving along outside my window.

He didn't apologize.

I shut my eyes, hoping it would help me calm down. I only saw _his_ burning green eyes. How did he know my name? It sounded so right in his velvet voice I didn't question it.

He wrote a song for me. I can't remember the words, but his emotion when he sang it was so pure. I guess I hadn't imagined the chemistry at the football game after all. It seemed so long ago now.

And the way he kissed me? I knew what Alice meant now. Kissing Jacob certainly wasn't like that. It was just something we did. Yes, it was nice, but it never drew such a response from me. The kiss I just shared with _him_ was the most passionate, intimate moment I had ever had in my life. I didn't know I could feel that way. I didn't know I could respond to some one else that way.

It was as if I had kissed him for my whole life and my body just knew what to do because I'd been doing it forever. It seemed so natural.

What about Jake? I had no idea how I felt about him now.

We pulled into the parking deck at the hospital. I knew I couldn't go into the hospital this conflicted. I needed to be strong for Jacob. I pushed all of my thoughts of the kiss to the back of my mind vowing to sort through it all more tomorrow. Once I had a chance to sleep on it. And, talk to Alice, who I hadn't even told about the guy from the game. I sighed and got out of the car. Hand in hand, Jacob and I walked through the automatic doors and into the sterile smelling hospital.

I realized then that I still had no idea what had happened. In all of my selfish worrying, I never once asked Jake what was going on. I was ashamed of myself.

Luckily, Sam was waiting for us. Jacob immediately bombarded him with questions.

"What happened, Sam? How's Embry? Where's Quil? Is he okay? What do you know?"

"Woah, slow down, Jake. This is what we know, but remember, it's all from Quil and he's pretty torn up. Quil and Embry went for a motorcycle ride tonight. Quil said they had gone pretty far out into the country and were working their way back into town when it happened.

"They were sitting at a red light. When it turned, Embry took off from the light without looking. He hadn't made it half way through the intersection when he was hit. The other driver didn't stop at the red light and slammed into Embry, throwing him off the bike. Quil was able to swerve and avoid being hit.

"Quil wasn't hurt, at least not badly. He ran to where Embry was lying in the road. He wasn't moving and he was covered in blood. Quil was afraid he was dead, but finally saw him breathing. I think he passed out then because that's all he remembers.

"Someone called 911. The ambulance showed up and brought Embry here, with Quil riding along. The paramedics told Quil that the driver that hit Embry was drunk. The police arrested him on the scene. The driver wasn't hurt."

I was crying again. I thought Jake's grip on my hand might break it. "They asked me to go tonight, but I couldn't," he whispered, almost to himself.

We stayed at the hospital all night. There was a small gathering of people waiting for news about Embry. Quil was extremely pale and his breathing was irregular. He looked like he was going into shock. Someone had given him a soda but he was just holding it in his hands. He wouldn't talk to anyone. Sam and Emily were there before Jake and I arrived. Leah showed up a few minutes after us with a glare for me. I didn't care; I had more important things to worry about than her immaturity. Embry's mom was the last to arrive. As soon as she got there, she was ushered behind the waiting room door to speak with a doctor and see her son. She hadn't come back yet.

Alice called mid-morning the next day. "Bella! Where are you? I didn't worry when you weren't here last night. I figured you had just stayed with Jake. But usually you at least call. You didn't even tell us goodbye when you left the party." I couldn't tell if she was upset. I was too tired. I got up from my hard plastic chair and walked away from where I was sitting with Jake.

"I'm at the hospital, Alice."

"What!?" She interrupted me with a squeal.

"Jake got a call from Sam about Embry while we were still at the party." I took a deep breath. "Embry and Quil were out riding their motorcycles last night and Embry was hit by a drunk driver." My voice started to shake. "They don't know if he's going to make it or not yet. I think he's hurt pretty bad. They haven't told us much yet." The tears started again. The more I said it, the less real it seemed.

"Oh, no, Bella, I'm so sorry. Is there anything I can do? Do you want me to come down there?" She didn't wait for me to answer. "How's Jacob? Do you want a change of clothes?" I'd forgotten I was still in my party clothes.

"No, Alice, I'm okay. I'm worried about Jake. He's a mess but trying not to show it. I don't think he's said a total of twenty words since we got here." I'd never seen Jacob this quiet and withdrawn. Granted, this is the first time we'd been in a situation like this. It just wasn't like him to run out of words.

The doctor appeared. "Alice, I've got to go. The doctor's here. I'll call you later, okay?" I hung up the phone before she could respond. She would understand. I went and sat back down beside Jacob. I took his hand.

Embry's mom was standing with the doctor. She looked like she might collapse any moment. Sam stood up and escorted her to a chair.

The doctor spoke, "Ms. Call gave me permission to inform you of Embry's condition." He looked us all over. "When he was knocked from his bike, his leg was crushed and he broke several ribs. Once we were able to examine him, we noticed severe bruising on his abdomen. We think some of his organs might have ruptured. He is having some x-rays done now so we will know how to proceed. We will also be treating him for internal bleeding. His body is traumatized and he is in no way out of the woods yet." He paused giving us a moment to absorb everything he had just said. "We are most likely going to have to do some operations to fix the damage inside his body. He will be sedated for a while after that. We want to keep his systems under control so we can watch for signs of improvement. As soon as we know more, I will let you know." He patted the now sobbing Ms. Call on the shoulder and left the room.

No one said a word. Finally, Sam, who seemed to be the natural leader of this usually rambunctious pack of boys, broke the silence. "If you're hungry, now would be a good time to eat. Or go home and change." He looked at me as he said this. "I'll be here when you get back. And you know I will call if anything changes."

I nudged Jacob. "Hey, let's go get something to eat. I know you've got to be hungry. And I sure could use a change of clothes." I offered him a small smile.

He nodded without looking at me and stood up. I took his hand and started out of the waiting room, leading him behind me. Once we were in the hallway, I called Alice.

"Hey, Alice. Can you bring me a change of clothes? And, I think Jake has a pair of sweatpants and a shirt somewhere in there, too. Can you bring him those?"

"Sure, I'll be there in a little bit." She seemed relieved to finally have a way to help us. That was just like Alice.

"Okay, call me when you get here and I'll meet you out front." We hung up just as Jake and I were getting on the elevator to go downstairs to the cafeteria.

A few moments later, we got off the elevator. Jake pulled me around the corner away from the cafeteria.

"Jake, you're going the wrong way," I said to him. It was almost a relief to see him take charge and do something. The hall was a dead end. He stopped at the end and pushed me up against the wall, kissing me in a way he'd never done before. I was stunned.

"Bella, I've been thinking, and I need to tell you something." He took a deep breath before continuing. "You know I have a bike, too. And I know you hate it when I ride it and I guess this is why. They told me they were going to ride tonight. The only reason I didn't go is because of Jasper's party. All I could think about the whole time we were just up there sitting was that it could have been me in that accident tonight."

"No, Jake, you can't think like that. You don't--"

"No, Bella, it could have been. And it's made me face some things I had been afraid to see.

"My whole world got brighter the moment you appeared in it. I know you so well I can anticipate when you're going to fall down. I can finish your sentences like they were my own. I know you want to take it slow and I respect that. I know it was a huge step for you allowing me to stay over. But, Bella, I can't imagine anyone else close enough to catch you or hold you or kiss you." He paused before continuing, making sure he had my full attention. "I don't know any other way to tell you, so I'm just going to say it."

I had a sick feeling in my stomach about what he was trying to say. I tried hard to keep my breathing under control and not hyperventilate. I wasn't ready for this. I certainly didn't know how to handle it, but I knew I couldn't stop him from telling me.

"Bella, I love you."

**OMG! OMG! Hit that little blue button!!**


	9. Chapter 9: Thanks for the Memories

**I'm leaving for BFE Iowa on the 28th to go to pork school for work. Yes, pork school. I will be gone for a week-ish and probably won't have enough time to put a coherent thought together that doesn't concern a center cut pork chop, extra meaty rib, or slice of bacon. So, I doubt I'll post again after this until the first week of August. But then we will all be so excited about Breaking Dawn, it won't matter one bit!**

**I have great betas… I really do. LupsandTnks… rock star as always! **

**Speaking of... I love writing Stephenie Meyer's characters. It's going to suck to give them back. Sigh. **

Chapter 9—Thanks for the Memories

And I want these words to make things right  
But it's the wrongs that make the words come to life  
_Fall Out Boy—Thanks for the Memories  
_

Bella's POV

I didn't think I had anymore tears left to cry. Somehow I was wrong. As much as I knew she meant well, Alice wasn't really helping me dry them up.

"I just can't believe you didn't tell me about him. I thought something was off with you at the game, but you kept hanging out with Jake, so I figured everything was fine." Alice seemed a little amazed that I could keep something like this from her.

"I didn't tell you on purpose. No, don't give me that offended look. I just never figured I would see him again. I didn't think it was a big deal."

"Bella, it's never not 'a big deal' when you've been dreaming about the guy for months." She emphasized this with a huge eye roll. Her expression quickly turned to one of disbelief. "Then you up and kiss him in the middle of the road—"

"It was the sidewalk, Alice."

"—like it's nothing." She didn't even acknowledge my interruption. "Did I miss anything?" She cocked her head to the side and pretended to think for a moment. "Oh I did! You didn't tell your boyfriend, who conveniently tells you he loves you a few hours later!" She finished with a flourish of arm movement.

I hung my head in shame at the truth and simplicity of what she just summarized. More tears seeped out of my eyes. I know she wasn't upset with me, but the truth still hurt.

"Oh, Bella. I'm not trying to be mean."

"I know. I just feel so rotten about the whole thing."

"I can tell." She chuckled. "Actually, I'm a little impressed. I would never have thought you would be in a mess like this."

"Not helping, Alice." I flopped down on my bed and rolled over to the wall. The wall wouldn't make me deal with my mess. It would just let me cry in a very nonjudgmental way.

She sat down on my tiny single bed. I didn't turn around. "Bella, you're going to have to tell Jake something. He keeps calling. He has no idea what's wrong."

"I don't know what to tell him!" I whaled.

"Well, okay. We'll come up with something. Do you like him?"

"Yeah." I sniffed.

"How much do you like him?"

I didn't know the answer to this. I'd been trying to figure it out since Jacob's confession in the hospital a week ago. My phone rang before the situation could have gotten awkward with my lack of response. It was Alice, calling to say she was out front with our clothes. I sent Jake to the cafeteria to get some food and I went to meet Alice with the promise that I would meet him back at the waiting room. When I came back into the hospital, Jacob was waiting for me with a worried look on his face.

He suddenly pulled me into a hug. "I know that you don't feel the same way, Bella. And that's okay. Just the thought of you one day loving me is enough. So take your time in getting there. I'm not rushing you. I just had to tell you how I felt." He kissed the top of my head before letting me go. Jake looked like a huge weight had been taken off his shoulders. "I'm starving, let's eat." He led the way back into the waiting room where the mood was just as somber as it was before.

I didn't much like this memory. It just made it everything harder because Jacob was such an amazing guy.

"Not as much as he likes me." A few more tears escaped.

"That's obvious," Alice said with a snort. "Do you want to keep dating him?"

"No. Yes. I shouldn't. But I do like him. Oh, I don't know!" This sniff turned into a sob.

"Okay, we'll come back to that one then." She narrowed her eyes at me. "What about the other guy? If he came knocking at the door tomorrow, what would you do?"

I rolled away from the wall to face her. I stopped crying. My heart was hammering in my chest. I know color flooded into my cheeks. A goofy smile started to work its way across my face before I could check it. I couldn't control my body's reactions to even the thought of seeing him. Alice noticed.

"Oh, you've got it bad." She laughed. "You gotta tell Jake." The tears came back as I rolled back to the wall.

A knock sounded at the door. "Oh, it's probably Jasper. We've going to the mall. I need something to wear on the plane overseas." Winter break was only a week away. Alice had been going on for weeks about her upcoming trip to Europe with her extended family. They took a huge trip like this every few years, all paid for by some rich old aunts. All she had talked about since she found out she was going was shopping, shopping, shopping. Most of the store and designer names all went over my head. But, why she needed an outfit to sit on a plane for hours was beyond me.

A wave of guilt hit me and a few more tears fell out of my eyes. I had been so obsessed with wallowing over the Jake drama I hadn't given Alice a chance to be properly excited about her trip. But, being the amazing person that she is, Alice didn't once call me for it. Realizing this made me feel even worse.

She pranced to the door and, without checking the peep hole, flung open the door. "Jasp--Jacob! Long time, no see!" She turned and gave me an apologetic look as she let him into the room.

I internalized a budding groan and rolled over on the bed to face the room.

"Hey, Alice. Good to see you." He gave her a quick hug just as Jasper appeared in the doorway.

"Right on time! Let's go, Jazz." Alice swept him out of the room before he could blink. So much for being discreet.

"Have fun, Alice," I called after her with the thought that I could make up for my lack of interest in the coming week. She smiled over her shoulder at me before disapearing around the corner.

"Hey, Bella." Jake stood in the middle of the room, not knowing where to sit or what to do. It was awkward. We both knew it.

"Hey, Jake. Come sit down." I patted the edge of the bed. "How's Embry?" I had only been back to the hospital a couple of times since the night of the accident. The upcoming exams were taking up more time than I wanted them to.

"He's doing a lot better," Jake replied enthusiastically. "He's talking more and they are letting him have visitors for a few minutes now."

"Oh, that's great!"

We sat in silence for a few minutes. I fidgeted with the corner of my comforter.

"Bella, are you okay? You haven't been returning my calls. You won't talk to me. I'm worried. Have I done something to hurt you?" The sincerity in his voice and eyes caused a few tears to leak from mine.

"Oh, Jake. You've done nothing wrong at all. You've done it all too right." He looked at me, not understanding. "I've been doing a lot of thinking this week and I have something to tell you." More tears. He brushed one away with his fingers. More trickled out. "Jake, I don't think I can see you anymore."

He just sat there, looking at me. He shook his head, trying to change the meaning of my words. "Bella, these past few weeks have been a little intense. And now, exam stress. I understand that you've got a lot on your mind. Go home, get some rest and we can talk about this when we come back in January."

It would be too easy just to agree. I couldn't. "No, Jake." I felt like I was barely making a sound. I looked up at him. "I can't. I like you; I really do. But I think you deserve so much better than me." More tears. Damn them! "Someone who can be a better friend to you. Someone who loves you. That's not me, Jake." I finished with a hearty sob.

"Bella, I don't understand. I told you I'd wait for you. I meant it."

"I know, Jake. I can't let you."

"You don't mean that, Bella."

I looked at him gently. "Yes, Jake, I do."

He stiffened. "Okay, then. I understand." An expression crossed his face I didn't understand at first. "I'll go." He stood up and walked to the door. "I guess I'll see you around then." He walked out.

It wasn't until he left that I understood what had crossed his face. It was anger.

**The little blue button is right there… hit it! Please? With sugar on top? :)**


	10. Author's Note

**Hello all!!**

**I'm sure you've given up on this story—and I can't say I blame you.**

**I'm trying really hard not to give up on it myself.**

**In my mind, it ended right after Bella kissed Edward. There was no wreck and hospital visit. Bella never fell in the lake on her date with Jake. Really, there was nothing but the football game, Jasper's party and the kiss.**

**The end.**

**I will probably take the whole thing down, re-write it and re-post it.**

**And, I do have a point for this…**

**…I am posting something new today!! YAY! I'm super excited. I've been working on it for weeks and weeks. And I already have the first 7 chapters written (for me this is huge--I'm in the super busy season at work and I'm traveling three plus days a week) and the story outlined to chapter 15, so I can't get too behind in the writing. No long waiting for chapters like this story. Good news for you!!**

**The prologue is going up tonight. I really hope you enjoy it as much as I've enjoyed writing it.**

**Thank you, readers!! :)**


End file.
